Being Thankful in Everything!

Thanksgiving is one week away exactly, and last night I went to The Gathering at Brentwood and through the message, the video, the songs, and the communion I was really challenged to be Thankful even when it’s hard to be Thankful! There is so much to complain about and look at as negative, but I have air to breath, a roof over my head, clothes on my back, a family, good health….etc. I can be Thankful in everything, and this time of year is a good reminder to do that. As I reflected on this past year, 2008, it has been hard and challenging, but at the same time there are so many things I can look back on and be soooo thankful for. Here are a few things:

I am thankful for forgiveness, healing, and reconciliation. The Lord has shown me that He can work in mysterious ways, and that true authentic relationships can be formed if the body of Christ functions as it should! After 5 years of so many negative emotions, a true, real, authentic, loving friendship has formed with someone that I can’t imagine my life without! You know who you are and I pray for you daily and am so thankful that God has brought you into my life and has given me a real, true friend. I am thankful that the Lord spoke to you last year at this time and that you obeyed Him and contacted me to heal those deep wounds together! Thank you God it was all you!

I am thankful for friends, the true friends that “do life” with me, and will not judge me or leave me and accept all of me even the messy stuff! I love you all, and you truly are Jesus to me!

I am thankful for good health. Going 6 months without insurance was/is scary especially having health issues, but God has been good in allowing me to stay healthy and safe; what a blessing!

I am thankful for a place to live. While my apartment has its perks and downfalls, and was truly humbling moving from a luxury apartment to a place out in the country, it is a true blessing at this time of my life and I am thankful for it (chickens and all!).

I am thankful for the dark times I have gone through this year. Numerous scary health problems, relationship problems, Alaska, unemployment, lack of direction, school….all of these situations sucked big time, but in the end and down the road I grew stronger, wiser, and healthier . Without having to go through the rough times, I may not be the woman I am today. I cannot say that when I was going through them I was thankful, in fact most of the time I was very mad and distant from God and others, but I see now that I had to let Him lead me through those times to shape me, mold me, and grow me. Thank you for the dark times Lord! (Isaiah 42:16)

I am thankful for unanswered prayers. Again, looking back on my life when I would pray consistently everyday for things, I cannot say that I was thankful for God saying “wait” or “no” but I am thankful that all of those things He said no to because it is now that I see it was not what He wanted, it was what I wanted and He kept me from a lot of pain, heartache and hurt that I couldn’t see at the time.

I am thankful for a job. While working at LU again is not what I wanted (I said I would NEVER go back….haha jokes on me!) I am thankful for the opportunity to learn new things, meet new people, and wait patiently until the Lord reveals where He wants to use me next and hopefully reveals my dream to me. I took a pay cut leaving LU, going to AK, and coming back here to another position but I have to remind myself daily that I am here for a reason and the Lord will provide for all of my needs.

I am thankful for provisions. There have been so many times the past 6 month that I did not know if I could pay bills, buy food, etc., but the Lord always worked it out that I would get just what I needed, I just need to trust that it will happen like that.

I am thankful for my singleness. I never thought I would be saying that, especially as I approach 25 (I know thats not old, but hear me out) but the Lord has shown me that I just have to keep waiting for the one He has for me. I have done so much, seen so much, and have developed as an individual and I would not trade these 24 years of singleness for anything because I may not have been able to experience those things if not single. I desire so much to be married, to meet that man that is perfect for me, to be a good and loving wife, and to have what my pastors, my friends, and my mentors have in their marriage, but I also know that in I Corinthians 13 is says that “Love is Patient” so why would I want to rush anything, or do things on my terms. Maybe 2009 is the year I will actually date, and meet my soul mate...that smoking hot, godly man made just for me :), but if it is not I will be ok, and I will continue to wait! Thank you Lord for this season of singleness that I have to grow with you, fall more in love with YOU and continue to grow into the woman of God you want me to be! One thing I have learned this year as well is that I am worth waiting for!

I am thankful for the gifts and talents the Lord has given me. I am thankful for my desire to serve, to be hospitable, to give, to love, to encourage. I have seen how the Lord has used me to things for others and how He has been glorified in all of these things. I am so glad that the Lord has made me the way He did, and even though many days I don’t always like me…..I know that I was created this way for a purpose and am willing to be used in any way to glorify Him!

I am thankful for a WONDERFUL church that I call home...Brentwood Church. I am thankful for a godly pastor and staff, I am thankful for small groups and the privilege to lead one at this time, I am thankful for the challenge I get every Sunday, for the realness of the church, for its authenticity, for the people that love the Lord and love others, for the worship I can experience with God each week, and for the ability to serve each week on host teams. It is truly an important part of my life, and has shown me what a local church should look like! I really missed it when I was in AK, and am honord to be a part of this amazing group of believers!

I could go on, but these are some of the big things I have been thankful for this year! I look forward to another year of new excitements, challenges, and growth and am challenged to find thankfulness even in those dark, lonely hours when I think there is nothing to be thankful for!

Happy Thanksgiving everyone! I love you all dearly and pray that you can reflect back on your own life, your 2008, and see God’s grace, provision, and love in your story as well! :) Here is the video we watched, enjoy! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-wQo_eYSc2Y

It's Getting Cold

The beautiful colored leaves have fallen off the trees and the erie bare branches are exposed to the cold air that has moved in preparing for snowfall. I love fall. I love all the colors, the festivities, the food, and the ambiance it gives when you walk out the front door, but I do not anticipate the cold weather and snow. Despite the chilly air and the layers you must wear to go outside, the advantage to the winter months is that I also love when the holidays are approaching. I like to go shopping and browse the stores looking for bargains, and gifts for friends and family. I love Christmas music, Christmas decorations, the smell and taste of holiday food, making cookies and wrapping presents. Most of the time its seems like people are in better moods, and its seems as if the holidays create a sense of bonding and togetherness.

Last night Dina and I put up our Christmas tree (yes its early but the next few weekends are busy and last night seemed appropriate). It looks so homey in our living room now, and I love to sit in the living room listening to Christmas music and drinking hot chocolate by the glow of the Christmas lights. While Thanksgiving has not arrived just yet, I am anticipating the Christmas season! I do love Thanksgiving and look forward to seeing family and partaking in some delicious food!

Small Group

Last night was the fourth meeting of my new small group. There are 5 of us, and to be honest at first I was a little scared of starting a new small group. I was in an amazing small group for 2 years with some amazing ladies, and the thought of having to share my life again with strangers and start the process over again scared me. Also I was asked to co-lead this group which was scary because I do not feel as if I am a good leader or teacher and I swore I would not lead a group....funny how God works huh? :) Last night was a sweet night. The first two weeks we played ice breaker games and had a lot of fun, and then the past two weeks we have shared our stories. Last night we all talked before we parted ways and expressed that we could all relate so well with each other, and that so many of us could relate to each others stories and how it was so nice to have a group of girls that you feel you can trust and relate to.

I love small groups. I love Brentwood and the passion they have for small groups. Not to knock Sunday School because I think that can be a good program in a church if done properly, but from my experiences, Sunday school can be so mundane, cliquey, and surface level. Its almost like something you "do" on Sunday morning because you have to, but most of the time you really don't do life with those people you do your Sunday "duty", but on a smile when you walk in the door even if your week has been horrible, bring a dessert to an occasional party, and go on with your life. For me small groups are so much more. Small groups are about being transparent with each other, being real, sharing your story, your struggles, your triumphs, and your heart with a group of people you are committed to and trusting them to help you through life. I am so blessed! I'm not going to say that doing life with others is easy because its is not! There are times when things are bad, when you want to give up, and when you don't want to be open with those people but in the end it is so worth it!

Funny

It is so funny to me how God works sometimes. As most of you know, I quit my job at LU in May and have been unemployed until last week. That period of time was very stressful, confusing, and I spent a lot of time arguing and crying with God asking why He would open the door for me to go to Alaska, then not give me a job until two weeks before I had to leave and then bring me back to Lynchburg with no employment for 3 more months. I became angry with God as I daily saw my bank account dwindle, but the other day I was reading back through my journal and I saw a bunch of posts where I was pleading with God to give me rest. I have read the verses about rest but never felt like I had that. Before I left for Alaska I was non-stop busy. I had work which I was struggling with, I had church commitments, I was taking classes with lots of work to finish up my Masters, I had stuff going on almost every night of the week and I felt burnt out. The Lord spoke to me the other night as I read back through my journal and showed me that even though I was not working and making money for 6 months, He had given me the rest I so longed for! Yes, it was stressful, but I didn't have commitments, I didn't have deadlines at work to stress about, I didn't have school work to stress over, I had time to read, pray, seek direction, and do.......nothing. Thank you God for giving me that rest that I so needed even though the past 6 months I saw it more of a curse than a blessing!

Another funny thing the Lord did (he is such comedian sometimes) is that He provided a job for me back at LU. I swore when I left for Alaska that if I returned to Lynchburg LU would be the LAST place I would look for a job. I had a couple interviews, and nothing was working out. The jobs I wanted were not available and I have no money anymore to move to another city to look for a job, and then the Lord opened the door to a job back at LU, and back in DLP Academic. I have enjoyed my job this past week, and I am so thankful for it, but I am curious to see how the Lord uses me and what He will teach me during this season of my life. So.....we will see what happens, but I am excited to see whats around the corner. :)